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WhenYour Plans get Altered

This is probably going to be the worst blog post I have ever written.
Actually, that’s a bold statement. I’m sure I am going to write PLENTY of terrible blog posts in my tenure of writing blog posts. After all, I only vaguely know what I am doing.

But among the vague things I know about blogging, I know this: they’re supposed to be “strategically written” to “attract readers to your website.” They’re supposed to be full of pithy and useful information and conform to a certain formula so that tyrannical algorithms will show you favor.
Yeah. That’s not what I am going to write today.
Today I’m just going to write because that’s the structure I set for myself. Mondays will be blog/vlog days. As someone who struggles to feel like they are a productive human being if they don’t “accomplish” something, I need this structure for my own mental health.
My biggest fear when deciding to remain a two-day-a-week employee and use the extra time to become a novelist is that I would grow lazy. My neatly curated schedule of how I was allowed to spend my time would fall apart after two weeks and I would lose all sense of purpose.
Well, here is week three, and sure enough, my delicate routine has been ruffled. The weekend filled up with an unusual amount of events, so I didn’t do the things I planned to do in my “spare time.”
And, yeah. I was lazy.
When I had the time to do important things like sweep up the maelstrom of cat fur our house collects or go to the grocery store, I chose not to.
This means that here, on Monday, I find myself feeling the pressure of having too many tasks to accomplish in one day. I have to grocery shop, I should load the dishwasher. I have to spend some time at my other (and much more important) work at home job. I have a history project for my church’s anniversary to write (and everyone is counting on me!), a D&D game to plan lest I disappoint my friends, and at some point, write a blog and record a vlog.
Well, not all of that will happen today. And I’m learning to let that be okay.
I read a meme on the internet once where a busy mom was asked how she balanced work and life. I don’t remember the source, so I apologize for not giving credit where credit is due, but the gist of her advice was this:
Life isn’t a balance. It’s a circus. She’s juggling many balls at once. The trick is to know which balls can drop and which cannot.
Some of the balls of life are made of glass, and if you drop them there will be earth-shattering consequences. Some of the balls are plastic. Yeah, it’s a bummer if they get dropped, but it’s recoverable.
Today, I’m examining what is glass and what is plastic. And while hustling towards this goal of becoming a published novelist is very important to me, writing this blog and recording a vlog to go with it are plastic balls.
So I am not going to write a perfectly curated SEO-inspired spin on my walk to becoming a published author today. Instead, I am writing this. A testimony to myself that it is okay for plans to get altered. No one is in charge of my schedule but me—and actually, even that isn’t true.
The Lord decides my schedule for me, and the tighter I hold onto the illusion that I control my life, the harder it will be when my glass balls come tumbling down around me. So what I should be saying is not, “this is what I will do today.” Rather, it should, “if the Lord wills, this is what I will do today.”
So if you’re struggling under the weight of too much to do and somehow happened to stumble across this blog post, I hope you’ll take a moment to step back. Take a breath, and ask yourself; which of these tasks weighing me down is glass, and which is plastic? Then forgive yourself for not being able to do it all.
We’re not created to be able to do everything. And that’s okay.
So, here I am. Typing up something just to stay disciplined so I don’t completely fall off the rails of my routine. And even though this something breaks all the rules of SEO, at least it is something. And I hope that it encourages someone—even if the only person it encourages is me.

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